What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
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Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
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"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize