Your tits are I can't wait for
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
