So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
