don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
