i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
