Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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