my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
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