we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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