I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
