I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
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No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
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Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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