why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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