She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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