just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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