i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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