One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Send help, water and tortillas.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
