It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I supernannyed him into submission
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
