just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
