1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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