I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
