omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I look better un-naked...
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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