is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
