So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
she told me i tasted like america
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
