3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
