all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
