dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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