Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
