I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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