I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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