Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
