So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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