call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
