I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Say something about gay babies.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
