i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
