you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
