very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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