I'll bet she douches with gravy.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
