i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I love you.
Bad choice
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize