I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
high people should be assigned attendants
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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