Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
