did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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