I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
