P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Randomize