Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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