By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
