So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
