i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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