so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
