I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
