You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
