He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
