everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
