im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
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Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
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