I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
