My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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