He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The power of my boobs compel you
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
