Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
