babies were throwing up all over the place
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
