He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
