I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
