you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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