You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
