There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
