So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
