all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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